Relaxing in an inner
tube on the river, soaking in the sun, chilling with Luke, mom and dad, cold
beer in hand, followed by a night of camping at Jeanie and Brian's with Jon,
Laurie all of our parents on the river. What
better way to celebrate July Fourth?
It's funny dad hated
camping, but he also knew that in recent years - I had began to love it. Living
in a city, which I do actually enjoy, and taking any opportunity to be in the
woods - I will take it! It was the first
time since we had tried camping as a family activity when Andrew and I were 10
and 12 that he decided a night of sleeping in a tent wouldn't be too bad. As expected, it wasn't the best night of
sleep, but after he had the opportunity to experience my recently acquired
skills of cooking breakfast in the mountain pie makers, his poor night sleep
was a distant memory.
The broski and I often
discuss the extremes dad would go to for us. Unconditional love. That's what
both our parents have always given, but he would do anything just to have two
minutes with us. Drive two hours once a week to haul me to see Dr. Fu following
two knee surgeries for six-month stints? Not a problem. Drive four hours to
watch a two hour volleyball match after work? Why not? Fly to Dallas for a week
and find ways to entertain himself, granted that was never hard for him, just
to get to spend the remaining hours of the day after work with Andrew? Sure. Camp out to have the opportunity to relive his
twenties and spend it with his daughter and honorary sons? Wouldn't miss it.
It's so incredibly hard
to believe that was two short years ago. Two years since he and I went to the
back little league field (now softball field - which is awesome) to go to the
batting cages for him to help me with my swing while he pitched to me -
something we hadn't done since I was probably six years old and it was the
yellow whiffle ball bat in the front yard. Exactly two years since we were at
the fields, the Pirates are leading the National League and the Red Sox are leading
the American League. All is right in my dad's world. It bums me out he's not here to share a
Yuengling in celebration. As Tessa, my
wonderful roommate, often reminds me, he's with me every day, and there is no
doubt in my mind that she's right. But boy would it be nice to hear his laugh
and share a toast to the Buccos and the Sox.
As I was wrapping up this year's Fourth of
July celebration, I received a call from my mom about Greg Wolf's passing -
family friend, husband, and father of two wonderful teenage girls. It broke my
heart. For the first time in two years,
I've struggled to get out of a rut.
Typically, my ruts last for about a millisecond and I move on, thanks to
my dad's ability to instill a fraction of his positive attitude into my daily
habits, but so many thoughts came rushing to my mind for the Wolf family over
the course of the past week. Distant
memories have become fresh in my mind.
I think what I've
struggled with most is everything that has happened since that weekend. My sports knowledge IQ has significantly
decreased since I no longer have him to recap SportsCenter on my drive to work.
Grad school coupled with a full-time job has caused a complete imbalance in my
life. I am forever conscious of it and strive to maintain some form of balance,
even sanity, but always fall short. But I am in grad school so for now, I'll
have to accept it. I can't wait to be back in the gym on a regular
schedule. Andrew has a job, multiple
jobs and is pursuing his dream, like dad would have wanted. He continues to
know how to press my buttons to both piss me off, yet motivate me. Mom has
become independent and hauls a camper around. Betty Jo hauling a camper. Makes
me smile every time I think about it. Jon
and Luke continue to be like family. And it saddens me that dad never had the
opportunity to meet Tessa, but roommate Andrew is still around and without the
two of them I don't know how I'd have gotten through the past two years. I
don't tell either of them often enough. They have had the most exposure to sleep
deprived, stressed out, out-of-shape, poor diet Lindsay and have always known
best how to deal with me - maybe even better than I know how to handle myself
at times. Craigslist. Who knew?
At the end of the day,
he has been here every step of the way. Based on the amazing people that are in
my life, both near and far, and the experiences and opportunities that have
been placed before me - I have no doubt.
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