One year. It's hard not
to be cliché, but where did the time go? It is amazing to me that it has been
one full year since I looked at my phone and wondered why my aunt was calling
me during the afternoon work hours on a Friday. Not that we don't hold phone
conversations, but a Friday work afternoon? I could be super dramatic and say
that my work was flip-turned upside down, to quote the Fresh Prince, when I received word from her about dad and
to some degree it was, but for the most part my life has continued on smoothly
simply because he had me prepared. Don't get me wrong, there have been ups and
downs over the past year in learning how to function in some capacities when an
integral part of the equation was missing, but dad has never failed me in his
preparation. And in each situation I
have encountered over the past year, his prior applicable advice has not yet
failed me. More dauntingly, I cannot believe it's been a year since I've heard
his infectious laugh or held one of our debates on my drive to work over what
was on SportsCenter that morning. Time is a crazy, crazy thing.
Sitting here at my office desk and hearing Tim McGraw's
"Live Like You Were Dyin" was what actually made me realize that it
had been a year. While the song used to remind me of a car ride to the beach
with Miss Ashley Grimm and a night out in Cape Town with my Semester at Sea
friends, it now reminds me of dad simply because of the message and he would
always comment on what a great message it is.
But it also got me thinking about a lot of things.
Most recently, I keep having these experiences that have
tied back to one of my dad's favorite movies - "It's a Wonderful
Life." For those of you who haven't seen it, because really, who would
want to sit through a two hour black and white film, there are two key points
for purposes of my current thoughts relating to this movie:
1. A man has the
opportunity to see what the world he lived in would have been like had he never
been born; and,
2. In the final minutes
of the movie, it is said "No man is a failure who has friends"
As for the first point, I take that one step further
after the past year and pose the idea that it is amazing to see how the world
in which you live is significantly altered once you are gone. It's not meant to
be a depressing thought, just reality. In the same breath, it's interesting to
see how the dynamics change and people work to fill the responsibilities and
void that the loss of an individual creates. At times it's been a rollercoaster,
but it's been an overwhelmingly amazing experience to witness and meet so many
people over the course of the year that my brother and I may have heard about,
but never had the opportunity to meet. In the past year, I have seen that the
number of people that meant so much to him and vice versa. Like every Christmas
Eve the past ten years that we have watched "It's a Wonderful Life,"
I can imagine him watching the movie of his life and the events that have
followed the past year, with tears rolling down his face simply humbled by the
love and support of his friends through the life he created for himself and his
family. You reap what you sow. And to the experiences of the past year, his
life was a testament to that.
It is evidence that he practice what he preached, "surround
yourself by successful people - people that make you a better person."
It's incredible to have met some of the individuals that dad surrounded himself
by, but I may have known for years or just in the past year. The stories have been amazing to hear. And
it's been a blessing to witness Andrew and mom's growth and the people they
have surrounded them with. Dad always
said to me when frustrated with coaching, "remember people only retain
about 20% of what you tell them, so you need to be repetitive, genuine and
engaging." In witnessing Andrew and my mom the past year, I think he must
have repeated himself enough for that message to be instilled within the three
of us.
Countless times the past year I have been humbled to
tears with all the love and support of friends. And countless times, I've been
driving to work and hear a song that makes me think of some memory that
involves him and struggle to hold it together. There have been moments when I
have received an excited call from Andrew regarding an event that has occurred
throughout the day and I have to step back and take a moment. It's odd that
Andrew beat dad in calling me. Dad was always so proud of Andrew and I miss
hearing those conversations.
Sunday, while sitting in church on the anniversary of his
passing, one of the girls that was part of the youth group I assisted with sang
"I Could Sing of Your Love Forever." When I heard that, I finally
felt like I had something to finish this post with and it was so very fitting.
There were so many ways in which it was perfect, but of most importance is the
love and support that I have felt because of the loving and caring person dad
was to so many. In the past year, my life
has remained steady and constant because he gave so much of himself to others
that is has only exponentially grown and I have been fortunate enough to
witness it. Love you dad.
