Unconditional Love by Lindsay Banner

Relaxing in an inner tube on the river, soaking in the sun, chilling with Luke, mom and dad, cold beer in hand, followed by a night of camping at Jeanie and Brian's with Jon, Laurie all of our parents on the river.  What better way to celebrate July Fourth?

It's funny dad hated camping, but he also knew that in recent years - I had began to love it. Living in a city, which I do actually enjoy, and taking any opportunity to be in the woods - I will take it!  It was the first time since we had tried camping as a family activity when Andrew and I were 10 and 12 that he decided a night of sleeping in a tent wouldn't be too bad.  As expected, it wasn't the best night of sleep, but after he had the opportunity to experience my recently acquired skills of cooking breakfast in the mountain pie makers, his poor night sleep was a distant memory.  

The broski and I often discuss the extremes dad would go to for us. Unconditional love. That's what both our parents have always given, but he would do anything just to have two minutes with us. Drive two hours once a week to haul me to see Dr. Fu following two knee surgeries for six-month stints? Not a problem. Drive four hours to watch a two hour volleyball match after work? Why not? Fly to Dallas for a week and find ways to entertain himself, granted that was never hard for him, just to get to spend the remaining hours of the day after work with Andrew? Sure.  Camp out to have the opportunity to relive his twenties and spend it with his daughter and honorary sons? Wouldn't miss it.

It's so incredibly hard to believe that was two short years ago. Two years since he and I went to the back little league field (now softball field - which is awesome) to go to the batting cages for him to help me with my swing while he pitched to me - something we hadn't done since I was probably six years old and it was the yellow whiffle ball bat in the front yard. Exactly two years since we were at the fields, the Pirates are leading the National League and the Red Sox are leading the American League. All is right in my dad's world.  It bums me out he's not here to share a Yuengling in celebration.  As Tessa, my wonderful roommate, often reminds me, he's with me every day, and there is no doubt in my mind that she's right. But boy would it be nice to hear his laugh and share a toast to the Buccos and the Sox.

As I was wrapping up this year's Fourth of July celebration, I received a call from my mom about Greg Wolf's passing - family friend, husband, and father of two wonderful teenage girls. It broke my heart.  For the first time in two years, I've struggled to get out of a rut.  Typically, my ruts last for about a millisecond and I move on, thanks to my dad's ability to instill a fraction of his positive attitude into my daily habits, but so many thoughts came rushing to my mind for the Wolf family over the course of the past week.  Distant memories have become fresh in my mind.

I think what I've struggled with most is everything that has happened since that weekend.  My sports knowledge IQ has significantly decreased since I no longer have him to recap SportsCenter on my drive to work. Grad school coupled with a full-time job has caused a complete imbalance in my life. I am forever conscious of it and strive to maintain some form of balance, even sanity, but always fall short. But I am in grad school so for now, I'll have to accept it. I can't wait to be back in the gym on a regular schedule.  Andrew has a job, multiple jobs and is pursuing his dream, like dad would have wanted. He continues to know how to press my buttons to both piss me off, yet motivate me. Mom has become independent and hauls a camper around. Betty Jo hauling a camper. Makes me smile every time I think about it.  Jon and Luke continue to be like family. And it saddens me that dad never had the opportunity to meet Tessa, but roommate Andrew is still around and without the two of them I don't know how I'd have gotten through the past two years. I don't tell either of them often enough.  They have had the most exposure to sleep deprived, stressed out, out-of-shape, poor diet Lindsay and have always known best how to deal with me - maybe even better than I know how to handle myself at times. Craigslist. Who knew?

At the end of the day, he has been here every step of the way. Based on the amazing people that are in my life, both near and far, and the experiences and opportunities that have been placed before me - I have no doubt.

The Little Black Book...

Every time I feel the urge to write an entry it is purely because something triggers a memory of my best friend and father, Tony Banner.  Lately I have been enjoying doing what I do best, getting to know people.  At an early age, mom and dad engrained in Lindsay and I to treat others how we wish to be treated.  It's a simple and effective method.  Thanks to the great advice and years of practice, I have made some really cool relationships with people over the years.  Often times I have heard people stressing the fact that in life it is not what you know but who you know.  Of course there is some truth to that theory but I do believe it is crucial for those relationships to be sincere and real.  Dad was always teaching me and when I was a senior in high school he gave me a book to read over a family vacation.  He told me that Jeffrey Gitomer's, Little Black Book of Connections would give me all the tools to develop a solid network.  I quickly learned that there is much more to connecting than simply knowing people.  After I read the entire book, the intro just inside the cover summed it up best.  "Connecting is all about your friendliness, your ability to engage, and your willingness to give value first," as stated by Gitomer.  Sounds pretty simple and almost too basic to be true, but I have truly bought into the process.  Now every person I meet I am trying to learn something about them and figure out how I can help them get closer to their dream.  The outcome has been nothing but a fast growing network of great people that I have come to love.  This strategy will take time, but it will be built on a solid foundation that will reap great benefits at the most unexpected times.  Most importantly, you will surround yourself with people who care about you because you have cared about them first.  Dad was a simple man that was the best at caring for the people he encountered.  As a result, he was a very happy guy that helped brighten thousands of people's lives.

What Fuels Your Fire? by Andrew Banner

Dad had always ingrained the idea of setting multiple smaller goals in life to lead to a bigger, more challenging goal.   He commonly referred to the great coach, John Wooden by saying, ‘success is a journey, not a destination.’ However, the most important aspect to each of the goals was the fuel behind the goals.  Many people are competitive by nature, but those who have the fuel or the urging desire to reach their goals will be hurdling them at a faster rate.  The fuel for your desire to succeed can be one single thing or event, or it can be ever changing as your life evolves and morphs.  During my lifetime, I know dad’s passion to succeed each day was his faith and family.  He took both very seriously by his actions.  Dad was very devoted to the church in more ways than I ever knew.  He also never ever missed sporting events, birthday parties, or random concerts that Lindsay or I was involved in throughout our lives.  Dad never vocalized his fuel, he simply lived his live by these rules and/or values. 

            I first recall Dad lecturing me on understanding the importance of fueling your fire when I was about a month into my 10^th grade year of school.  The reason he brought the subject up was because he knew I did not take my schooling very serious but I loved to play sports.  He put it like this…. “Andrew, you plan on playing basketball at the collegiate level correct?” I responded yes.  “Well your grades will determine what schools you can get into to play and if you can’t learn how to discipline yourself in the classroom, how will you ever be able to discipline yourself in life?”  Of course that was a shock to me at the time and maybe did not completely set in.  He followed up by saying, “Andrew, at the end of each day look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself did you do your best?  If you did, awesome; if you did not ask yourself why and learn from it.”  After he had challenged me with the mirror test, he told me what would come of the application of the process.  He talked about building a “brand” or “character” by continuously practicing the mirror test.  “People want to surround themselves with successful people and if you are willing to give it your best every day, people will recognize and want to be around you.”  He was so right.  Little did I know that those conversations would never be forgotten and forever cherished.  Now I find myself continuously challenging myself to be great each and every day because he is the fuel to my fire.  I desire to be great just like dad.

 

I’ve been watching you by Andrew Banner

          Any time I hear the song “I’ve been watching you,” by Rodney Adkins my mind goes straight to memories of how much I loved looking up to my dad.   Music has always been a fixture in our family.  It’s not uncommon that I will text my sister or she will text me, “just listening too Tom Petty and made me smile.”  Tom Petty is just one of the many great bands/artists that connect us with dad.  Mom and dad taught us well, and we were always eager to learn.  Two days ago, I decided to open up and old book that dad once gave me as a gift.  The book is “Wooden,” by Coach John Wooden with Steve Jamison.  This is a must read, life changer kind of book.  The reason why I want to share the book is because I had not read it in a while and now I realize how much this book makes me miss and respect my father. 

As I began to read two days ago the first chapter was titled, “Families, Values, and Virtues.”  I could read this book easily in one sitting but I prefer to soak it up and practice Wooden’s lessons on a daily basis; therefore I take my good ole time.  Right from the get go, Wooden lists his 7 principles to live by.  As I read it was hard not to think about how good dad was at all 7.  Here is the list: 1. Be True to Yourself, 2. Help Others, 3. Make Each Day Your Masterpiece, 4. Drink Deeply from Good Books, especially the Bible 5. Make friendship a Fine Art, 6. Build a Shelter Against a Rainy Day, 7. Pray for Guidance and Count and Give Thanks for Your Blessings Every Day.  Collectively, those are 7 principles I know will help anyone get to the place they want to be in life.  I know dad strived for those 7 principles every day and it was not because he told me, it was simply the way he lived his life.  I guess it’s no coincidence mom, Lindsay, and I chose to put “Make each day your masterpiece” on dad’s tombstone.  Now I know what I have to strive for in life and the areas I may have to work on.  Maybe someday I’ll be half the man you were.

Love you dad,

Your son

Every Impact Matter by Lindsay Banner

"If you've made a positive impact on one person, then the effort was worth it."  Countless times, dad would tell me that after he and I would be discussing a practice that I came from and was frustrated with the progress my athletes were making. His first comment would always be regarding his sales experience and people's retention of new concepts. "Lindsay, when learning something new, remember individuals' attention spans are short and they are retaining about 20% of what you are instructing or informing them." Sound bites. Coach in sound bites. Do you know how hard that is when you want to impart all of your knowledge on them to help them achieve greater success than yours? And after rehashing practice by five minute segments with dad on my drive home, and discussing the accomplishments, light bulb moments, and the tribulations of practice he would remind to take a step back and remember the big picture.  What was it all for? To make them a better athlete, sure, if possible, but the greater purpose to make them better individuals prepared for life outside the gym. So if one girl left the gym with more self confidence in her abilities on the court, then it would most likely transfer to her day-to-day life, and that was the true purpose of an effective practice. It was worth it if you took two hours of your busy day to make one girl even slightly realize her potential. That was my dad forever altruistic.  I wish more people could have that vision and thought process and I wish it was an easy mindset to stay motivated within...because it  can be utterly disheartening at times.  But that is not necessarily the point of this post. It goes back to positively impacting one person's life.

            Saturday, I received a visit from my old teammate, Mickey Carey.  Mickey walked on as a freshman my senior year at Clarion.  Mickey was a work horse and earned every second of playing time she got while I had the opportunity to play with her. Positive attitude and hard worker. It paid off in the end, earning her a scholarship (which warms my heart a little). My kind of girl and my favorite kind of story. Due to the age gap at that point in time, aside from volleyball and sharing a few professors, Mickey and I didn't spend much time getting to know each other. Not due to lack of desire, just time. I knew more about her from mutual friends then actual experiences. So when Mickey showed up this weekend, I was excited to catch up, as I always am with friends, but had no serious expectations. But it was awesome! This girl is doing amazing things. Picked up, moved to a city, essentially started a business and kicking butt. "The harder you work, the luckier you get." - one of my favorite John Woodenisms.

            The purpose of this preface is to better understand a story Mickey shared with me this weekend and I hope she doesn't mind me including in this post (and I hope it is accurately depicted). Mickey told me about her visit to Clarion when she was first looking at schools her senior year of high school. Her mom and her had made the trip to Clarion and in the process her mom's car had broke down while they were in Clarion. Who came to their assistance alongside the road, but Mr. Tony Banner.  Dad apparently told her where to get her car taken to and where to look for a new one if that should be the case.  Allegedly that made an impression on Mickey's mom that a random person would take time out of their busy day and pull over, help and guide. During their interaction, Mickey and her mom learned that he was my dad.  Hours later while meeting with Ms. Lynn Hepfl in the Honor's office, Mickey was informed that I apparently was doing all of the things Mickey was interested in doing. And the rest is history.   But the point is, who knows where Mickey would have ended up if dad hadn't run into them during their unfortunate travel affairs.  Sure, he may not have made that big of an impact on her, but he could of, and Clarion University is lucky to have Mickey as an alumni as she has just began her journey. It's rare that you get to hear or see the fruits of your labor. I wish dad was around to tell him, but I'm sure he already knows. So I challenge you to take a moment out of your busy schedule to do something that might be a nuisance and see what positive impact that makes.

 

One Year... by Lindsay Banner

One year. It's hard not to be cliché, but where did the time go? It is amazing to me that it has been one full year since I looked at my phone and wondered why my aunt was calling me during the afternoon work hours on a Friday. Not that we don't hold phone conversations, but a Friday work afternoon? I could be super dramatic and say that my work was flip-turned upside down, to quote the Fresh Prince,  when I received word from her about dad and to some degree it was, but for the most part my life has continued on smoothly simply because he had me prepared. Don't get me wrong, there have been ups and downs over the past year in learning how to function in some capacities when an integral part of the equation was missing, but dad has never failed me in his preparation.  And in each situation I have encountered over the past year, his prior applicable advice has not yet failed me. More dauntingly, I cannot believe it's been a year since I've heard his infectious laugh or held one of our debates on my drive to work over what was on SportsCenter that morning. Time is a crazy, crazy thing.

            Sitting here at my office desk and hearing Tim McGraw's "Live Like You Were Dyin" was what actually made me realize that it had been a year. While the song used to remind me of a car ride to the beach with Miss Ashley Grimm and a night out in Cape Town with my Semester at Sea friends, it now reminds me of dad simply because of the message and he would always comment on what a great message it is.  But it also got me thinking about a lot of things.

            Most recently, I keep having these experiences that have tied back to one of my dad's favorite movies - "It's a Wonderful Life." For those of you who haven't seen it, because really, who would want to sit through a two hour black and white film, there are two key points for purposes of my current thoughts relating to this movie:

1. A man has the opportunity to see what the world he lived in would have been like had he never been born; and,

2. In the final minutes of the movie, it is said "No man is a failure who has friends"

            As for the first point, I take that one step further after the past year and pose the idea that it is amazing to see how the world in which you live is significantly altered once you are gone. It's not meant to be a depressing thought, just reality. In the same breath, it's interesting to see how the dynamics change and people work to fill the responsibilities and void that the loss of an individual creates. At times it's been a rollercoaster, but it's been an overwhelmingly amazing experience to witness and meet so many people over the course of the year that my brother and I may have heard about, but never had the opportunity to meet. In the past year, I have seen that the number of people that meant so much to him and vice versa. Like every Christmas Eve the past ten years that we have watched "It's a Wonderful Life," I can imagine him watching the movie of his life and the events that have followed the past year, with tears rolling down his face simply humbled by the love and support of his friends through the life he created for himself and his family. You reap what you sow. And to the experiences of the past year, his life was a testament to that.

            It is evidence that he practice what he preached, "surround yourself by successful people - people that make you a better person." It's incredible to have met some of the individuals that dad surrounded himself by, but I may have known for years or just in the past year.  The stories have been amazing to hear. And it's been a blessing to witness Andrew and mom's growth and the people they have surrounded them with.  Dad always said to me when frustrated with coaching, "remember people only retain about 20% of what you tell them, so you need to be repetitive, genuine and engaging." In witnessing Andrew and my mom the past year, I think he must have repeated himself enough for that message to be instilled within the three of us.

            Countless times the past year I have been humbled to tears with all the love and support of friends. And countless times, I've been driving to work and hear a song that makes me think of some memory that involves him and struggle to hold it together. There have been moments when I have received an excited call from Andrew regarding an event that has occurred throughout the day and I have to step back and take a moment. It's odd that Andrew beat dad in calling me. Dad was always so proud of Andrew and I miss hearing those conversations.

            Sunday, while sitting in church on the anniversary of his passing, one of the girls that was part of the youth group I assisted with sang "I Could Sing of Your Love Forever." When I heard that, I finally felt like I had something to finish this post with and it was so very fitting. There were so many ways in which it was perfect, but of most importance is the love and support that I have felt because of the loving and caring person dad was to so many.  In the past year, my life has remained steady and constant because he gave so much of himself to others that is has only exponentially grown and I have been fortunate enough to witness it. Love you dad. 

I love you dad by Andrew Banner

 Not a day goes by without me thinking of you.  Each and every day new challenges and opportunities come my way and I seize them all as you have taught me.  Quite honestly the past year has been a great challenge that mom, Lindsay and I have come together, stepped up to the plate, and knocked it out of the park in our own ways.  We have all grown for the better, which I know you can see.  At our core we still live by the same morals our family has valued and each of us are keeping busy trying to follow our dreams.  I very much miss our daily talks while I’m on my way to and from work and the occasional lunch break chat.   I sometimes get mad at myself that I can’t seem to keep up with the Pirates, Steelers, and Penguins like I would have had I been talking to you each day.  It is so much tougher when I do not have the local news or you filling me in.  It brings me to tears to think after all these years that you preached to me that the Pirates would make a comeback simply because you never stopped believing and they are having what seems to be there best year in the past 17.  I want them to make the playoffs so bad. 

As you know the NFL season is just about to kickoff and I just drafted my fantasy football roster for the 13^th consecutive season.  Of course I think my team is the best just like ever other year but I got that optimism from you.  To this day, I will never forget the fact that our first ever fantasy football season we won the title and never looked back.  As for the Steelers, they are looking like the Steelers we know… always a Super Bowl contender.  It is crazy to think you helped move me to Dallas 15 months ago!   That was honestly one of the best decisions of my life.  Thank you for supporting my decision to go so far away from home to go after my dreams.  Dallas has been very good to me.  I have surrounded myself with great people just like you always did.  Networking here is so fun!  There are so many people with so many stories and knowledge to learn from.  Each and every day I ask Adam and Carly, “can it really get any better?”  We have it so good.  My officiating career is sky rocketing faster than even I could have imagined!  I know you had your doubts behind scenes that I could make this happen and make a living but I love a good challenge.  Watch out, it will not be too long before I am in the NBA Finals.  I have so many mentors down here that have specific characteristics that remind me of you.  This group of mentors keep me grounded and challenged every step of the way.  If I could have told you that in 15 month’s time in Dallas I could have accomplished what I have accomplished you would have smiled and said “lets take a step back for a moment and just get to Dallas first.”  Not only have I been extremely excited and happy about what I have done for myself but I also am keeping busy helping others, which is what life is all about.  I have helped some of my friends meet their personal health goals, build a house for Habitat for Humanity, organized multiple sports teams, even a fantasy football league, and most importantly shared my love with all my friends and neighbors like you were so well remembered for doing. 

On top of a great year, so many people have come together to give back to the Clarion community by helping bring awareness to the endowment we have built in your name at the Clarion University.  All your time spent growing up at Keystone, then supporting all the Banner boys there, and doing the same as Lindsay and I grew up at Clarion, all while running the boosters and even coaching from time to time will never be forgotten.  You were a dedicated loving man.  Not to mention as Lindsay played volleyball at Clarion University you transitioned into a relentless supporter of Clarion University athletics.  You and mom traveled to all home and away matches which is a feet in itself, but you also supported all the other teams and athletes as they were your own.  You also continued to support the University, as I was lucky enough to coach the Clarion University Woman’s Basketball team.  Oh and how could I forget, you knew every single person on campus like they were your best friend because you wanted to be more than just a copier salesman, you actually cared about the people you did business with each and every day.  The least we could do is create a Tony Banner Memorial Invitational Tournament supported by Clarion University each and every year.  The inaugural tournament is September 7^th and 8^th this year.  My life is so much better for having you around for the past 24 years but it goes ways beyond Lindsay, mom and I.  This is our dedication to you because we know this is something you have supported and will always support, thank you and love you.  

TO DONATE TO THE TONY BANNER ENDOWMENT PLEASE CONTACT:

Shawn Wood

Email: swood@cuf-inc.org

Phone: 814.393.1832

http://www.goblefh.net/sitemaker/sites/GobleF1/obit.cgi?user=451997Banner

http://www.clariongoldeneagles.com/index.aspx?path=wvball&tab=volleyball