Music Runs Through My Veins

How often do you find yourself belting out lyrics to some of your favorite songs forgetting where you are in this space and time?  Or maybe dancing to the beat not realizing that you have a crowd watching you make a fool of yourself?  I bet it happens quite often.  See my dad new how to find a great appreciation for music and he listened to what he wanted when he wanted.  He had no shame in the music he chose to listen to.  There are many reasons to listen to music.  My dad taught me that it can be about the beat, the lyrics, or to simply put you in a the right mindset.  Many times I get questioned for the music I like to listen to.  I like a wide variety of music but the music that will always have a place in my heart is the same music my dad taught me to appreciate.  I was fortunate to grow up into a family setting where I looked up to my father and mother.  Dad sure did love his music.  Whatever dad did or listened to, I wanted to do that too because it was cool.  I remember growing up believing that my dad was a Beach Boy because as he would sing to the lyrics he told me that he was a Beach Boy.  For years I believed him.  The way I see it dad was not lying to me, he just liked to use his imagination.  Anytime he was singing out loud or to the lyrics of his favorite songs he would lose himself in the music.  So let music take you to your happy place.  Remember the good ole days and celebrate today!  Music is supposed to set you free and promote the living.  Most songs for me take me back to great memories with friends and family.  But songs also remind me of smells, feelings,  and specific moments.  They might even make me bust a move.  All I can say is my dad knew how to live through music and I will continue to share that same passion for music.

P.S. 80's cover band this weekend in Addison, TX if anyone wants to join my friends and I and of course dad in spirit!

Love all,
Andrew Banner

Smell the Roses by Lindsay Banner

I am super excited and proud to post my sister's first entry to our blog in honor of our beloved father, Tony Banner!  Expressing our experiences through blog entries has been a great release for us and hopefully fun for all of you followers out there!  Check out Lindsay's first of many posts to come!

It has taken far too long for me to contribute to my brother's blog, but several reminders have occurred in the past week that have compelled me to finally put in words one of the many lessons my dad taught me and several others.  I hope to make the time to do this more because it is incredibly important to me to share and to not forget, but it just seems like life just happens so fast and time is constantly escaping me.  My mom always has reminded me to take time and smell the roses because I'm always operating at 90 mph (literally for those of you who know my driving), but at the same time my dad always preached "live in the moment and live each to the fullest because you never know when it's going to be your time."  Ironic, right? But maybe that is why from the moment my dad joined the Big Man above, I have been at peace with it. He lived each and every day to the fullest, yet never forgot to take time and smell the roses enjoying what he was doing while living in that moment rather than looking onto the next item on the agenda.  And he had a way of making every person involved in that moment with him feel like they were the center of his world.

The fire for me to write this was first ignited last weekend when I received a call from Miss Ashley Grimm, one of my nearest and dearest.  I was driving about an hour and a half north to my cousin and his wife's baby shower on Saturday morning and she called to check in.  She's done with her master's, working on her PhD while being employed full-time, and just knows the right things to say sometimes as I work through my master's.  Ashley realizes that I have been incredibly stressed lately and letting outside factors control my stress level rather than me controlling them like I typically do.  After we went through our run down of life, she finishes the call with the recommendation to "live in the moment."   I hadn't hear that lately because I didn't have dad to remind me, not that I should need to be reminded for as much as he ingrained it in me; however, lately it seems I have been going through the motions and thinking about what needs to be done next rather than just being. Regardless, it let my mind wonder the rest of the ride.

After the baby shower, I was talking with one of my cousin's friends, Brian Osberg. For my dad's 50th birthday, I took him to see Bruce Springsteen.  As Andrew has mentioned, as a family we have always connected with sports, but aside from that my dad and I always connected in music. What can I say we love the romantic side of sports and music, people achieving their dreams and the fascination with that path and lifestyle. Ever seen Almost Famous? If you haven't, you should.  It was incredible enough that I got to spend the evening pregaming, yes pregaming, with my dad because he was with twenty something year olds - Brian Osberg, Jake Jones, and myself - and therefore, needed to live in the moment, which meant never being afraid to join in the festivities due to age. We made our way through the South Side bars and hiked across I-376, onto the Duquesne Campus and arrived at the ground floor of the Civic Arena no more than 50 yards from the Boss's stage. It was awesome! Ever trying dancing like no one is watching and singing at the top of your lungs? Again, if you haven't, you're missing out. Near the end of the concert, as Brian recently reminded me, someone got word that Bruce was going to be at Moondogs Pub in Blawnox. Now I don't know if any of you have heard about this bar, but you shouldn't have. It's a mere hole in the wall.  But dad was not going to miss the opportunity to meet, drink, and sing with THE BOSS, regardless of the fact that he had to get up at 4:00 am like he always did to work.  So naturally we went, drank, and sang to the jukebox.  Can you believe Bruce AND Clarence stood us up? This is Tony Banner we are talking about, THE Tony Banner.

In hindsight, dad knew that the Boss wasn't going to show up. But it was the romantic in him that I mentioned before, the story that could possible ensue, if perhaps, it did come true, but most importantly it was him living in the moment with his daughter teaching her to do the same.  As Brian and I rehashed that evening following the shower, it took all I could from not breaking down (shocker). But hours after Ashley had reminded me to do so, Brian reminded me of an instance of my dad doing just that.

So this past week, I tested it out again like was I living life pre-grad school. I lived in each and every moment the week presented me. I got a whole heck of a lot less sleep, but it wasn't from cramming and busting my butt to balance school and work, but bonding with my classmates, enjoying my coworkers, and laughing my way through the week. After four months, it was a reminder to me that grad school doesn't require me to change my lifestyle, but rather how I approach grad school. Until recently, that live in the moment maxim hadn't been challenged, but in a way I'm glad it was because it reminded that you need to smell those roses. 

Shared Stories from Drew Vandermeer on Tony Banner

I find it appropriate to give a little intro into Drew's passages because I think it is important that everyone understands I did not ask for him to write these. He chose to do this out of the kindness in his heart. My hope is that this will inspire more people to share their experiences with my father, life coach, best friend, Tony Banner. Enjoy!

I was sitting in church on Sunday, listening to Rev. Larsen's message and something that he said just hit me with this idea and that I should write this. It is amazing how God works, even at times we may hate him, but there are other times that what He wants us to do is truly special and I thank Him everyday for blessing me with another day on earth because as we have both witnessed in our lives, we never know when He is going to call our number. I have really enjoyed writing this, even though at times it was very difficult, because it has allowed me to put down some of my memories of the great times I had with your Dad. I have a whole new respect for the blogs that you have already written and HOPE that you keep writing them when you find the time.

Love ya man!

As the weather has reached a suitable temperature in western Pennsylvania, I decided I would pull out the golf clubs a few days early and went out before the course was even open yet. A year ago I was doing the same thing, except I had the pleasure of doing it with Andrew Banner and the Clarion University Women’s golf team. This will be relevant very shortly. So as I was out at Clarion Oaks playing the front nine, I reached number eight, a short par three. As I stood on the tee box I was trying to remember what club I used on this whole last fall, and trying to think back to the last time I was on this hole. And that is when it hit me . . .

The last time I was on number eight was last fall when I was helping the Women’s golf team as they qualified for their next tournament. I was sitting down by the green wait for the girls to hit when I felt my phone vibrate. It was a text message from Andrew, who lives in Dallas, Texas now, and so I thought he was just texting me to see how things were going, since we do not get to see each other everyday anymore. I looked at the message and since that moment, my life has been forever changed. It was not the message I was expecting, at all. The message said, “Dad just had a heart attack and he is probably not going to make it.” I sat there for at least two minutes in just complete shock and did not know what to do. The next week went by pretty fast and much of it was a blur.

But as I stood on the tee box the other day, it occurred to me all the great memories I had with Mr. Tony Banner and the valuable lessons from him that I have tried to incorporate into my life as much as I can over the last six months. Whether it was in sports or how to treat someone with respect, TB always showed the best way to do represent yourself.

Memory 1: It was the summer before Andrew’s senior year and the basketball team was coach-less, so the person that he was, TB volunteered to take the team to summer camps until a coach was hired. TB was always about putting others first and in this case he put his son and his team ahead of him. He even took us to a team camp at Penn State and stayed in the dorm rooms with us, stayed up with us each night, just like he was a camper himself. Later that summer he coached us at the Clarion University team camp, if you read Andrew's previous post you will know what happen. It was what Coach Banner said to us after that game what I really remember from that day. He sat us all down and explained that the actions that we chose to partake in were unacceptable and that we were more mature than what we showed. Sometimes you just have to be the “bigger” person, even if you are the smaller or younger person, and figure out a different way to handle a difficult situation.

Memory 2: It was the spring of Andrew’s senior year and we were done with basketball after a tough playoff loss, that TB would always give his very firm opinion of how that game went. But it was the time of year for the state finals of high school basketball and TB wanted to take a couple of the players over to Hersey to watch the finals. There was no one specific memory from that trip that I remember but the whole memory of the great time that we all had together will never leave me. Mr. Banner was a lover of all sports. If there was a good game, with good competition, in Western Pennsylvania, you could guarantee that you could spot him and his wife, Mama Banner, somewhere in the crowd with their fold up bleacher chairs.

Memory 3: It was July of 2011, 5:30 a.m. and TB was loading my bag into the back of his car, as we were getting ready to leave to make the 1,282-mile journey to Dallas to visit Andrew. The first experience on this trip that showed the kind of person that TB was when we were at a gas station, he paid with a gift card and the lady running the cash register had messed up his bill and it took her at least ten minutes to get it straightened out. Mr. Banner could have easily gotten frustrated with this lady and flipped out on her for messing things up and taking so long to figure it out, but that is not who TB was. Instead he stood there patiently and waited for her to get everything straightened out. Every time the cashier would apologize, Mr. Banner would just say it is fine and not to worry about it. It was ironic timing when this happened because on the drive down I was reading a book about Coach John Wooden and the chapter that I had just finished reading was about how Coach Wooden never got upset about things that were out of his control. Right before my eyes I was witnessing exactly what the author was talking about, except I was witnessing it with Coach Banner. He remained calm and just let the lady resolve the problem and soon enough we were on the road again. The event on the trip though that will never escape my memory happened when we were less than fifty miles away from the Texas border. We were on a pretty busy, two lane highway and we came up on this semi-truck that was just sitting in the one lane of the highway making all the traffic form a signal lane to get around him. What we found just ahead of the truck was a car with its rear end smashed in. When Mr. Banner saw this and noticed that no one was stopping to help this guy out, he immediately hit his brakes and pulled off the road. He got out of the car and went to check on the people involved in the accident to make sure that everyone was going to be okay. We waited around with the victims until the police and ambulance showed up. It did not occur to me right away that day, but as I look back on that even now I realize just the kind of person that TB was.

TB was always willing to help those out who needed help, whether it was his son’s basketball team or a complete stranger on the side of the highway, Mr. Banner always had time to help others. Coach Lute Olson said this about Coach Wooden, “John Wooden has morals, ethics and spiritual beliefs and as a result, he sees what life is really all about. Because John is so personable he makes you feel comfortable in his presence.” As I read that quote I could not help of think of Life Coach TB and the great person that he was in Clarion community and to everyone that knew him. TB may not have had the national recognition that Coach Wooden had but I am willing to bet that the two of them were both cut from the same cloth. I can just picture those two are now both up in a greater place, watching down on all of us, talking not only about basketball but all the other aspects of life where they both touched so many people.

-Thank You Drew Vandermeer for Sharing!

The One Secret Dad Never Told Me or My Sis.

Advice, quotes, and living by example is a few of the many ways dad looked out for family and friends. There are so many things I remember my dad for, but one sticks out and makes more sense now. I will wait to fill you in on that til a little later in this entry. First I will cover dad's daily routine with Lindsay and I that we will always cherish.

Dad was all about using quotes as positive reinforcement in life. I know he loved to use quotes because he loved sports and knew that they could help guide us down the right path in life. A quote I always used and held onto I pulled straight from the movie, Hitched. "Begin each day as if it were on purpose." Simple, and some may say corny, but I live by it. That quote is very relevant moving forward with my story about dad. Each day it was a given that Lindsay and I would wake up to a quote of the day under our doors. Dad was a morning person and would wake up at 4am every day. The quotes would be hand written on post it notes or pulled off of his daily quote calendars. Either way, they stuck with me throughout the days and to this day. Now quotes mean everything to me. I read them constantly. Quotes give me something to work on each day towards a better me.

Now for the part of the story that I was holding back on til now. A quote that I can vividly remember goes something like this "a true test of a man's character is doing what is right when no one is watching." I know that is not exactly it, but you get the point. After dad passed and mom, Lindsay and I met with our paster, I learned from my mom that dad did his daily devotionals each morning by his bed at 4am! I knew my dad as good as a son could. I told him every thing. I thought I knew his every move. This was one secret he kept from Lindsay and I and I will never forget it. I always had the deepest respect for him but this just made me prouder. I will pass on the love of quotes to my friends and family because I know what they have meant to me in my life and how they can help others. Remember, it is not only about doing what is right when people are watching, it is when no one is around that really counts.

Bleed Your True Colors

Anyone close to my dad knew that he was passionate about his sports' teams. Especially, his Pittsburgh sports' teams. Oh, and who could forget about his son and daughter's teams that included Clarion Area High School and Clarion University. My dad also had a great love for the Boston Celtics and Red Sox. Tony raised us in a family surrounded by sports. From the age of 5 I was playing in tee ball and YMCA soccer leagues, and I can vividly remember dad standing there proud in our team photos as one of our coaches with his unforgettable arms folded, wide stance, aviators on, with a straight face. No matter what level of play he was coaching, it meant more than just winning and losing. It was more about learning about who you were as a person and who you wanted to be as an individual. You can be the kid kicking and screaming begging to leave or you can be the kid who wants to learn from the coaches and practice over and over again.

For Lindsay and I, sports went way beyond the field of play. As we grew up, we were practicing not only with the team, but with our father, and having great one on one talks about how to better represent ourselves and how to be a better teammate. There were many instances when I can think back through were I made really poor choices, but I learned from them. For example, I was fed up with a kid who was sneaking cheep shots toward my best friend Sean Wolf and myself during a basketball game played in the Clarion University team basketball camp so I wound up and punched him square in the face. Sure enough Sean had my back and literally jumped on the kid's back and put him in a head lock. Obviously, we could have handled that situation differently but it was a situation I learned from. Dad made it clear that my choice to punch the kid was poor but he did not ground me. He actually only grounded me once in my life. It was not because I was a goody two shoes throughout my childhood, because I was anything but. However, it was because he knew that he could give me perspective on the situation that would make me feel small and I would want to change for the better. His lesson for me in the punching scene I put on was focused on how I was percieved by all the people in the gym that day that had no idea who I was. "It only takes one stupid mistake that will always be on your record" he would say. There were many people at that game that I had the deepest respect for; therefore I knew I had some mending to do. I personally apologized to the referees of that game, the court monitors, and even head coach, Ron Righter. Those apologies went a long way. Years later I became very good friends with the coaching staffs at the University and eventually became a graduate assistant for the women's golf and basketball programs.

Over the years of my sports' careers, I became much more of a leader than a knucklehead. What I really believe contributed to who I am today is the understanding that I am always representing myself wherever I go. When you think of Andrew Banner I want you to think of me and my brand in a positive manner. I take this lesson with me every second of every day.

P.S. Thanks dad for always coaching me to be a leader instead of a knucklehead.

Rise Above

If there was one thing I remember all the way back to my childhood about my father was his ability to say only great things about people. We grew up as a family in the small quaint town of Clarion, PA where everyone knew everybody's business. Small town gossip is a constant there but my dad would rise above the pettiness of talking about other people's business. Of course as a teen I thought small talk was fun and something everyone did. Not Tony Banner. There were times when dad would sit me aside and tell me right from wrong and then there were the lessons that I learned from him simply leading by example. There are many instances I can think back through and remember when there would be a situation when a person would bring up conflict with me or someone in my family. Dad's reaction was never sudden; he always wanted to know more and dig a little deeper. He knew that there is always another side to the story and he would seek it out before pointing his finger at the person causing conflict.

Choosing to rise above and take on the challenge of confronting the people face to face instead of avoiding the situation built my character and only made those relationship stronger. Finding the good in people has led to many new friends that are still some of my best buds to this day. It has also completely changed my relationships with former bosses that I once struggled to understand. Generally, what I have learned from my experiences is that if you invest a little time with people, they will open up and turn out to be people full of depth. Those people that you go the extra mile for will end up being there when you need them most.

The challenge will be to see if you will take the easy way out in your next conflict with a person or will you be the one to shake their hand and get to know them. I promise you will not regret going the extra mile.

Introduction

September 2nd, 2011 at 7:30am central time I called my father just like any ordinary day on my way to work. Every day I called my early in the morning, around lunch, dinner, and an additional time if something came up out of the ordinary. To say the least, we were very close. Our call that morning consisted of the usual sports talk, how everything was going, and how graduate school was coming along. At the end of our talk we always ended the call with "I love you." It turns out, those would be my last words to my father. I had a busy morning that day at work, so I did not get my normal lunch call in because I was taking a weekend trip to Austin to visit my best friend Alex Peckham. Carly Truitt, and I hit the road around 1pm. Carly is my co-worker and roommate. As we were about 2 hours down the road, my life was about to change. My sister, Lindsay, called and she sounded a wreck. All she says is "Andrew there is no easy way to say this... dad is in cardiac arrest and I do not think his is going to make it." Simultaneously, I slam on my breaks and skid into the car in front of me. My arms went numb and I was speechless. After Carly helps me get the lady all the insurance information she needed for the fender bender, we headed to the airport. Once I was on the airplane, many emotions were running through my head. I felt sad, mad, in disbelief, but I did not ask why. The majority of the flight I spent tracing back through all of the memories I had with my father from my youth until my last "I love you." Each entry moving forward will be a memory turned into a life lesson. These are life lessons my dad, Anthony Wayne Banner, taught myself and many others and will hopefully resonate with you.